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Doyle's latest book, Deliriously Happy and Other Bad Thoughts, was published in November 2011.
This is a Hollywood story. It contains fleeting sex, mild comic violence and no liberal cant, yet may be of interest to those who are curious as to why you keep seeing the same movie over and over again. Some time ago, I received a script for a comedy film that was in want of [...]
“Politics have no place in health care,” declared the mayor of New York City, inserting himself into a controversy over whether one private charity should sever its ties with another private charity. “It would be tragic if any woman — let alone thousands of women — lost access to these potentially life-saving screenings because of [...]
“He is counting on us not having YouTube. That’s how much he thinks we’re stupid,” Newt Gingrich yelled at Floridians a couple of days ago, before adding, tongue in jowl, “and we’re not stupid.” Leaving aside the questionable link between YouTube and nonstupidity, Gingrich has a point. Mitt Romney does think we’re stupid. Gingrich, on [...]
I like hate. It’s delicious, hot or cold. It burns clean. It makes office work bearable and it shapes nations — even and, perhaps especially, ours. That’s why I hate to see it wasted. It’s not news to anyone with an Internet connection that we are awash in hate, an epidemic, decry popologists, caused by [...]
They say he is a panderer, that he is just telling people what they want to hear, and yet there was Mitt Romney in South Carolina last night, vowing to prevent America from becoming a “European social welfare state,” promising to end an unjust system “where government takes from some and gives to others.” He [...]
I hadn’t given Mountain Dew much thought, but like many of you I was unsatisfied with the Republican presidential field and was looking for something more, something that could excite me and get the job done. As we have run out of sacrificial frontrunners, I decided to give the Dew another look. I liked what [...]
The once adorably loopy Saturday Night Live comedienne Victoria Jackson took to the interwaves recently, warning that Muslims were in charge of our weapons of mass destruction and that Muslims were training our TSA screeners and that our president was a secret Muslim, wiping his Islammy fingers all over everything we hold sacred. “There are three types of [...]
Curious: For the past month, books about presidents (Being George Washington, Killing Lincoln and Jack Kennedy) by pundits (Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly and Chris Matthews respectively) have occupied three of the top five slots in the New York Times’ nonfiction bestseller list. As the great probability theorist Pierre de Fermat might have said, “Once is [...]
My mother did not believe gift giving should be gratuitous. Every present had a purpose and often a moral. Some years back, we had to talk her out of giving a relative a bathroom scale for Christmas because “he obviously doesn’t know how much he weighs.” It is in that spirit that I inaugurate this [...]
Why does the Supreme Court bother to hear cases at all anymore? Is it a parlor game, a form of rhetorical kabuki or do the justices still believe that they make up their minds after hearing the evidence, based on unwavering legal principles? The days are long past when a major decision would astonish, even [...]
I’ll admit it: I once was a journalist. I needed the money, and anyway, at the time the news media was devoted to uncovering the truth, not working to destroy it. I worked the Chicago desk for United Press International where, every two or three days, a woman would call in with a shocking story, [...]
Our leaders have failed us, as promised. So it’s up to We, the American People, to revive our faltering economy while ensuring our long-term financial health. It’s a bit of a pickle, but I’m sure if we all roll up our shirt sleeves— I’m not wearing a shirt! Woo! Be that as it may, we’ve [...]
As the fourth Thursday of the eleventh month rolls around again, media custom demands that this space be given over to hoary reverie, the annual listicle of thanks giving, composed far in advance to allow the writer to spend the holidays at a local bar thinking about his family. I seem to have gotten especially [...]
I am endorsing Herman Cain to be the Republican candidate for president. I do so not because I would vote for him, because as a member of the nonsense-obsessed liberal media elite, that would simply not be allowed. I am supporting Cain because I think he presents the greatest contrast to Barack Obama. And America [...]
Our poor world is hurting, clubbed by trouble upon trouble, losing blood and all out of Band-Aids. I gave this some thought over the weekend, and I believe I’ve arrived at the solution. Buy my book. Deliriously Happy, buyable today by clicking on the garish yellow rectangle to the right, is the key to solving [...]
“She looks so lovely,” said the mom of Baby Danica, born in Manila just after midnight yesterday. “I can’t believe she is the world’s 7th billion.” “I’m so happy,” said the dad of Baby Oishee, born in Bangladesh and also declared the 7 billionth living human. “I’ve become the father of a baby girl at [...]
It’s the fun game everybody’s playing! Today on “Who’s to Blame?” we tackle some of our nation’s most intractable problems by just knowing who’s responsible and angrily gesticulating in their direction. Please hold your righteous applause until the end. Problem: The Crap Economy To Blame: The Poor, for talking back to The Rich, causing them [...]
The Apocalypse is upon us once again (This Friday! Wear sunscreen!), and so what better time to get our antichrists in order? Jolly Herman Cain would seem an unlikely Beast, but Michele Bachmann’s got his number. “When you take the 9-9-9 plan and you turn it upside down,” she observed at the last debate, “I [...]
“I’m angry,” says Suanne Martin of Nashville, “at the way corporations have taken over our country.” “I’m angry,” says Dee Close, down the road apiece in Memphis, “that those who are elected hijack the country.” Two Tennessee belles, one good and one evil, a blonde and a brunette, I imagine. Two furies, one righteous and [...]
